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by Erika Ginnis (from a Sunday talk given in the early 1990's)My talk today is on allowing, now you might ask yourself What it is? Well maybe for me it is easier to start with what I have found out that it isn't. It isn't forcing, it isn't looking at something and finding out what is wrong with it and trying to "fix" it so it will be perfect.
It's tough sometimes because so much of our culture is focused on fixing, getting it "right", wanting it to be different "perfect", not owning or acknowledging something until it is finished perfectly. This translates to ourselves. How often do we simply allow ourselves to be, at any given time?
When we meditate how much time do we spend trying to "fix" ourselves. I find that its easy to get caught in that way of thinking. So that your constantly trying to fix yourself or others. Looking for that perfect time, in the future of course, when you get things right! How happy you'll be, all the things that you'll get accomplished.
I have found that when I am that focused outside myself, I lose touch with me, now. I focus on the great me in the future. I don't allow myself to simply be.
A couple of years ago I was taking a drive and I was very intent on what was wrong with me, and I wasn't feeling to good about myself. I was at a stop light and I looked up from the road and I noticed this mountain behind the hills. I was struck with how beautiful the mountain was, as I looked at the mountain I started to feel better. I realized sitting there that when I saw the beauty of the mountain I wasn't trying to change or fix it. I could simply allow it to be a mountain. I realized how silly it would sound to look at the mountain and say "Oh well it's not really a good mountain. I think it should have more of a peak there, and there's not enough snow over there. Maybe in the future at some point in time, the mountain will be exactly perfect and then it will be beautiful."
It simply was a mountain. It could change through time; one day snow covered and the next craggy and bare. It would always be beautiful. If I could simply allow the mountain to be and it was O.K., maybe I could allow myself to be too.
I had a similar experience sitting by a river one summers afternoon. I noticed three small streams coming off the main river before flowing back down stream. All of these streams were constantly changing, all of them were different; one was so small that you could have easily missed it, but they were all streams and they simply were. They were beautiful and I felt healed by listening to them and watching them.
As I allowed these streams to simply be, constantly flowing, different every second, but always a stream, I began again to get in touch with myself as spirit. Changing, experiencing, but always me. I may flow over different rocks or "blocks" but the flowing doesn't change the essential me any more than the stream ceases to be a stream just because it is flowing over a different set of rocks one day to the next.
I love being in nature. I have a great affinity with the Mother Earth, she is so gracious and powerful and loving and abundant. The mountains and the streams, the flowers and the clouds just are, they don't have to do anything to "fix" themselves. They are glorious just in their existence. I believe if we can begin to see the glory that is in nature and realize that we are a "part of" and not "apart from" this infinite expression. We can see that the Mother has already "clothed" us in beauty. We are spirit part of the Divine. The question is; Can we allow ourselves to simply be and notice it?
Perhaps one of the things to cultivate is patience. The trees don't bring forth all the fruit at once, it takes time and seasons and growth. One of the essential ingredients for allowing myself to be, is to have patience with myself. I don't judge the river for the ground it hasn't covered yet. It simply flows and creates its own course over time.
As I watch the streams and enjoy them as they are. I can begin to look at myself differently, bringing into my life some of that same "allowing" that lets me accept and enjoy nature. We all have the ability to allow ourselves to see the beauty that we have simply as we are. Regardless of the season.
We can let go of meditating in order to "fix" something and allow our meditation time to be one of communication with self and The Infinite. We can simply allow energy to flow, and experience it like water with out judging it. Letting ourselves make the changes we want but allowing ourselves to be where we are in the present. Seeing yourself as spirit, a spark of the Divine, expressing through your sacred body, in the here and now, allowing yourself to be.
Do you need to make sure everyone else is "fixed" first before you can take the time to see your own beauty? Take a nice deep breath and release energy down your grounding.